That's when I woke up and discovered I was alone in bed.
On the table was a perfectly rolled joint and a handwritten note that said "Remember Ed."
Also in the room was the computer I'm using now and instructions on how to post a web page, among other things.
When I left my room that first time to look around the Center, I discovered I was alone. No Wilson or Julia. Not a single soul anywhere on the island. This is my current reality.
Yet I continue to have very realistic dreams. I'm directed to share portions of both my reality and my dreams with you who read this, wherever you are.
I have been stuck at this particular chapter for many
Something always goes wrong. And then I wake up.
Just like in the film Groundhog Day, my beginning is always the same. But like in the film 50 First Dates, I have written instructions that allow me to fast-forward through the mistake, thereby experiencing less grief and more joy.
At first I had no problem avoiding the weed. I thought I was a human being pregnant. I was wrong, but it took me a long time to realize it.
I eventually became very depressed. I'd been accustomed to the thought of my baby inside me. I still catch myself thinking of you that way, even though I know much more now about who you really are.
You are somewhere in the world, though I can't seem to find you. Luckily I have the ability to post and receive messages via this web site. Many have communicated with me, but none appear to be you.
Since that very first day, I tried remembering who Ed might be. I sensed he would help me. That's what eventually convinced me to smoke. I had no better ideas at the time.
The weed acted like a key unlocking my mind. I immediately recalled my oldest friend, Eddy.
He was my first best friend. The one I could be completely honest with, and the one who always told me the truth. My parents called him my imaginary friend.
I can't remember specifically what made Eddy disappear from my experience. I might have stopped talking to him because I noticed the adults didn't. It felt like a more mature choice. I was in a hurry to grow up then. I was a genius child they said. Invisible friends were for babies they said.
More than likely, I stopped our conversation because I didn't like what he seemed to be telling me. We were on a swing set; up and down, forward and back. We were talking about life being predictable and monotonous.
I remember noticing that a good experience was always followed by a bad one, and he said: that's life when you're paying attention.
Millions of experiences later, all of my dream states understand that a negative perception will pop up because of the good one. It represents a previously-denied aspect of our collective consciousness that senses the presence of love and wants some. Once love is the only response to any experience, all bad experience disappears.
I have been sharing this knowledge with all of my dream states through the entity I used to call Eddy, but is more accurately termed Ed.
Between me and my dreams, he's the only common thread - the voice in every head.
Some think Ed is a weed, some think he's the Holy Spirit or another aspect of the trinity. I associate him with Mentor who tells me the name is merely a suffix indicating past tense.
I have advanced to this point in the unfolding of my story because of the willing participation of all of my dream states, which exist like appendages and organs within my one body.
The eyes and fingers and the rest have agreed to help complete my mission, which Mentor named Peace on Planet Earth (orPOPE - he thinks he's funny).
In this realistic dream of mine, I have taught and learned from thousands of people via the written word and this most amazing communication device known as the Internet.
Over time many have decided to unite with me in the entity called Golden Rule Productions, occasionally referred to herein as GRP or Group, the Author and Editor of this work. We represent THE HEART at the Center of the COG in this wheel, and we take responsibility for
what dreams may come from the arrangement of wordstrings in this quantum collection.
Our mission is peace for all the inhabitants of Earth experienced individually, simultaneously and endlessly.
If your eyes are reading these words, you have been expressly invited to participate and be known as an Editor of this document. (Consider it similar to the process illustrated in the film Stranger than Fiction, only no harm may come to any character.)